Last day

Ahhh! Do whatever you can do. The evil spirit of school is calling for us. And the flawless spirit of summer vacation says today will be it’s last day and it won’t come back until mid-June. The longest summer ever. From graduation to The Z Zone, Sportszone, Calleva adventure camp, Hawaii, birthday parties, Usain Bolt and yesterday’s birthday party for my uncle and dad (We had various cupcakes, tex-mex, onion rings, ribs, pork and ice cream cake. Better than my birthday party. Then again there was no theme.) Unfortunately this will be the end of our 75-day break. I totally thought we were going to the Outer Banks this summer, because before this summer every single summer of my life we went away to the Outer Banks for about 8 days. We did go away for Memorial Day weekend, though. And I guess next weekend (Labor day weekend) is sort of the end of summer. I don’t have a problem with Robert Frost middle school or anything. But summer is nirvana. Poor Andy Roddick. His birthday is today. And my dad and uncle’s birth certificates say that their birthday is today. But my grandma says that they were born August 31. So that’s why they end up having a birthday WEEKEND. But I try not to complain about that. And now I have 31 entries. Only 9 more hours to make today last.

So, the NFL regular season is coming up. Last night’s game was pretty epic. With San Diego playing at Atlanta, Matt Ryan completed 14/20 passes for 140 yards and 1 passing touchdown. And Philip Rivers and Billy Volek had a respectable night. To cut to the chase, Chris Redman and Charlie Whitehurst took over for QB, and Chris Redman passed for a touchdown with 9 seconds left. Drama.

C ya

DC chillin

Good morning. Last night’s game was devastating. I mean on the Skins side, Campbell’s soup was served hot, as Jason Campbell completed 13/22 for 209 yards, and a 4-yard rushing touchdown. And two new faces, Anthony Aldridge and Marcus Mason combined for 17 carries, 79 yards and 1 touchdown, and Colt Brennan connected to Marko Mitchell on a 33-yard pass. And Chris Cooley grabbed a 73-yard reception to set up a Marcus Mason rush TD. Overall, beside the fact that the Redskins had 15 penalties against them for 113 New England yards, they were impressive. Did I mention that the massive 350-lb Albert Haynesworth caused Tom Brady to leave with a sore shoulder? And Daunte Culpepper is coming back to start for Detroit in they’re game against Houston. Major diss over Matthew Stafford. Well anyway guess what happened? The Mama Wok people totally switched up our order. We got tofu! I told my dad to get Hard Times. But it doesn’t matter because I just had the Singapore noodles, beef and dumplings. They’re dumplings are awesome. And because today we’re having a big barbecue for my dad and uncle’s 48th birthday weekend. Sorry to remind you about your age dad. But today is an even more famous person’s birthday. Read on if wanted.

Happy Birthday 51st Michael Jackson! This summer’s tabloids were practically all about him. Thriller, Man in the mirror, Bad, Smooth Criminal, ABC, Dangerous, Dirty Diana, Black or white, Billie Jean, Beat it, P.Y.T, Don’t stop till you get enough and you’re other songs are still rocking. Sorry Farrah, but more people care about the King of pop then the Queen of Charlie’s Angels. Happy B-day, MJ. Spongebob, Alvin and the Chipmunks and the Chipettes are making remixes of you’re songs.

Tim Linecum is aiming for a triple crown this season as he and the Giants trimmed the Rockies wild-card lead down to 2 games. I’m rooting for San Fran by a hair. Best of luck to Colorado too.

C ya

So Vick of him

Yo. Sorry I didn’t blog yesterday. I had middle school orientation and there was zero news. Speak of the devil; I just went to the Newseum. It’s pretty cool. Did you know you have to wake up at 6:30 am for middle school? For all the retirees out there reading this, you’re schedule must be so awesome. Wake up. Play golf. Relax in a pool. Eat gourmet food for all meals. Repeat. Then again the middle school cafeteria food at elementary school (They basically used oil for every course.) But change of subject, Michael Vick just performed an auspicious debut for Philadelphia in a 33-32 win over Jacksonville, in his first game since December 31, 2006. He completed four passes for nineteen yards, even though some irritated protesters jeered him. And David Akers nailed a last minute field goal. Some people just don’t respect good values anymore. What happened to second chances? Michael Vick has diligence, but he hasn’t done anything for atonement, and considering the percentage of people who hate him it seems that even if he does something he'll still be canine Hitler. Looks like I’m the odd man out. Michael is super fast, but he can’t run away from this one. Premiering next on the Vick channel, Philly is headed north to the Big Apple, who just named rookie Mark Sanchez starting 1 day ago. And after that we’ll just have to roll the dice if Roger Goodell lets him to play in the regular season. Well in DC, the Redskins are preparing for they’re game against New England. The key is who is Tom Terrific focused on: Giselle or the game. If it’s Giselle then Washington MIGHT win, if it’s the game then they’re probably going to get creamed by New England. But on the bright side my dad ordered Chinese food from Mama Wok.

Selena Gomez’s new Disney Channel original movie, the Wizards of Waverly Place Movie premiers tonight at 8/7 central. As if she wasn’t tired of Disney channel movies. A few months ago she performed her first one with Drew Seely in Another Cinderella Story, then she did The Princess Protection Program with BFF and fellow actor who’s the main character of a Disney Channel sitcom (Sonny with a chance) and singer who’s equally famous, Demi Lovato. Did you know they became friends and famous on Barney? Life is unfair. Anyway, Selena is doing a lot of work. Watch it.

So. Nice summer. Two more days until I become officially a student of Robert Frost middle school. I’m in the middle of two schools. I’ve graduated from Lakewood, but I haven’t learned any academics in Frost. This summer is so long. Tough for my dad and uncle. They’re birthdays are on the last day of summer.

Peace (Even though the anniversary of Woodstock has passed)

Ted, White and Blue

Ted is dead. Yes, that’s right. In “Here’s Brett, Don’t Fret” I stated that after Robert Novak died, I picked Ted Kennedy for the next death. Don Hewitt passed, but now the last of Kennedy boys is gone. The Kennedy brothers could’ve easily been a dynasty if Rob wasn’t killed in 1968, he could’ve beat Richard Nixon for the election. And obviously Ted would’ve been a more reasonable choice for Prez instead of Jimmy Carter. And both of those eras would be similar to the Camelot era, with JFK. At least the anxiety and tension about when he will die part is over. Believe me, I thought he was dead in that lunch in late January after Obama’s swearing in. Not even close. Kennedy was an extremely courageous patriot. He was disciplined, determined and intelligent. He was also a dog person. Which is why I am typing with my golden doodle Rafa. Where’d he go? Oh there he is. Ok, he betrayed me for a rubber bone, but let’s not think about that. Poor Ted. He was the last of the Kennedy dynasty. And here's what Obama has to say about Teddy. His patriotism is underrated. That’s too bad. But as all people, he lost his battle with the devil, cancer (We have got to find a vaccine for that epidemic). G.B.T.K

Celebrate good times! I totally forgot about the 100th anniversary of the root beer float. It’s been a week. Sorry A&W and MUG. I worship you guys. You’re my second favorite soda, barely trailing Dr. Pepper. I love floats more than black cows, sundaes or even banana splits or crème brulee. And I like the bananas foster milkshakes from Cheeburger Cheeburger a lot too. And I forgot what Baked Alaskas taste like. Either way, the entrepreneur who thought of a root beer float is genius. Hail root beer floats.

Hey, it’s been 500 years since Galileo Galilei’s ingenious notion of a telescope. Nice thinking, Galileo. We got a man on the moon because of that building block. Even though the 500th anniversary was yesterday. I was going to write about the root beer float and Galileo last night. Apparently curfew beats blogging in my parent’s perspective.

You know what I just heard happened. My sister’s friend and neighbor, was at Cunningham Falls the exact same day we were there, and she was attacked by a swarm of bees too. Spooky stuff, eh? A Hollywood director might as well take this coincidence, elongate the story and make up parts to it, and turn it in to a Rated R horror film. For more drama in this paragraph, click this hyperlink, and it will take you to Beethoven’s 5th symphony. Beeware of the swarm!

The Rockies keep on coming. In 10 innings Colorado beat LA. The Rockies are now 2 games below LA.

Now I'm having another poll: What website are you rooting for in the search engine war: Google, Bing or Ask. Even though it's mostly between Google and Bing I wanted to see if anybody would say Ask. Don't be shy. Speak your mind. I'm for Google.

C ya

Colorado Rocking

In the present moment the MLB is being plagued by steroids, the economy and Bud Selig’s tactics are right now plaguing MLB. Though last night was just a great and original game of America’s pastime. It was more then that. You know what’s more rare and amazing than a walk-off or a grand slam: a walk-off grand slam. But Colorado Rockies left-fielder Ryan Spilborghs decided to do a rare thing last night. With the San Francisco Giants leading 3-1 in the 14th inning right after the Giants drove in two runs, Spilborghs, a Santa Barbara native, hit a grand salami to end the game. And also on Sunday in a Mets-Phillies match at Wrigley Field, Phillies second baseman Eric Bruntlett snagged a line drive, and tagged two base runners, and completed only the second unassisted triple play in major league history, first since 1926. Before the game Colorado was slightly leading San Fran in the NL wild card race by 3 games. The win pushed the Rockies’ lead to 4 games, with San Fran just above Atlanta, and the Colorado are now 3 games below first place, which is currently held by the Dodgers, who are slumping since the all-star break. The Rockies was practically hopeless of playoff hopes in June fifteen and half games below first place. But Colorado is making a repeat of 2007, and they’re next series is versus LA. In fact it’s the bottom of the second now. LA is up 1-0.

Wow. When Jerry Jones decided to make a brand new $650 million dome for Dallas, did he ever consider the jumbotrons were too low? I mean really, if you have a good punt, it shouldn’t go back down so fast as if it were a boomerang. Let’s grab ahold of reality and take it for a ride, shall we? I know Obama said it’s time for a change but he didn’t mean it that way. Jerry is confused. He should just retire and continue to live in his mansion. Aren’t jumbotrons supposed to be way up high so they don’t interfere with the game? Jerry Jones is screwed. He’s got me talking about jumbotrons. I used to talk about MY LIFE. Not some random old dude from Texas’ problems. Jerry Jones isn’t that bad he should revise his plans before he exposes them to the world.

Chris Brown just got sentenced to 5 years in probation and 1,400 hours in “labor-oriented service”. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Brown, 20 has to stay at least 50 yards from Rihanna, 10 yards if at the same event. I personally think Brown should only have to do community service. Rihanna’s hit Rehab featuring Justin Timberlake pretty much pomed Chris enough. When he goes back to making records, he’ll be the next Michael Vick. OMG! That joke was so perfect, right? It was just so perfect! LOL! I’ve got to start writing these down. That was gold. It was more than that. It was platinum. I’ve got the potential of Jonathan Waters and Rick Reilly. Oh my god. That was too good. Okay, see ya.

W.A.R.S.L
Update:10:34 PM: The Rockies are tied up with LA 2-2, Top 7th.

Beeware of the swarm

Buenos Dias peoples! Sorry for not writing yesterday. I had a blog going about Chase Daniel and how he helped the Redskins beat the Steelers 17-13. Then my mom called me for breakfast. My family discussed where we wanted to go: Six Flags or this place called Cunningham Falls in Thurmont, MD. Originally my sister, mom and I wanted to go to Six Flags, and my dad said he would go if that were the vote. But then my mom gave into my dad, and we then hit the road to Cunningham Falls. After that it pretty much went downhill. I mean the falls were really cool in all and super refreshing, but when my mom and I were walking back to the car disaster struck. A swarm of yellow jackets was buzzing around in side a hollowed out log, minding they’re own beeswax, when suddenly they ambushed me, stinging extremely close to my ear, on my scalp, calve and at the same exact time I tripped while running away from the bees on the pebbled toe path, receiving a big gory wound on my knee cap. After I finally got in the car I spent 5 minutes crying like a baby with more pain in my whole entire life so far. But that’s not the end. After that I decided to face my fears and go to a snack bar in a beach in Cunningham Falls. It was smooth sailing before a wasp stung my arm. After that when I was relaxing in the sand I just got a nosebleed. And I think I have developed a phobia of wasps, sweat bees, yellow jackets and hornets (last year on my mom's 43rd birthday I was white-water rafting in the Shenandoah river in Virginia and I got stung by a sweat bee in the armpit, and a couple of years ago this girl in my camp got stung by a hornet and it was really close to me.) Can you believe that happened to such an innocent boy like me? Horrible. Mortifying. Worst karma ever. Even worse than this one day in Hawaii where I got stuck in a seatbelt and got a small abrasion, then cut my dominant hand’s palm on a rock, then accidentally locked my sister’s Converse All-Stars in a safe at a Sheraton, and then puked. The good part about that day is my dad got the All-Stars out (Lord knows how). Did I mention I accidentally did a really painful belly flop of my local pool’s diving board? Or when I was playing catch with an aquatic football and I overthrew it and it ended up hitting a grumpy old lady's umbrella? Why can’t I just have a regular Sunday where I go to church or temple and then spend the rest of the day peacefully reading inside? That would be a good fix. But then again I like some razzle-dazzle in my Sunday. Oh well.

No! The Red Sox had a chance to be a wild card and they blew it against the Yankees. Boston has a 9-6 record this year other New York, and in they’re last 6 meetings New York won. So last night in a pitcher’s marquee matchup (C.C Sabathia versus Josh Beckett) Beckett gave up a homer on his first pitch and the Yanks kept on hitting balls over the Green Monster at Fenway Park, thrashing the Sox’s last chance at salvation.

B.O.B (Beware of Bees)

Bolt!

Usain is insane. In the Beijing Olympics, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt broke the 100m and 200m records last year. A few days ago Bolt broke his own 200m and 100m record. Two years ago when Jamaican sprinter Asafa Powell held the 100m record most people thought nobody could beat that. Usain Bolt is a human engine. When you see the car on top of Bolt! It’s the SSC Ultimate Aero, the world’s fastest street legal car (I want to see that car race against him. I bet that car could beat him only if before it stopped for a break at Shell before the race.) Not even Michael Johnson or Carl Lewis is close to that type of material. And he’s 6’5. We’re talking millionaire in the next month possibly. I used to think he was a show-off but now I think he deserves to be a show-off. He deserves to be governor of Jamaica. Bolt is has more velocity than possibly no one to ever live in the universe. Unless his speed is genetic. But for now he’s the fastest. So respect him.

Ouch. It appears that Brett Favre had only one completion in his debut in the Metrodome in Minneapolis against Kansas City. And in the completion it was 3rd down and Favre made an underhand toss and rookie Percy Harvin had to dive for it so they didn’t get a 1st down. But he only had 3 practices. And they still won. So cut him some slack.

Michael Vick is likely to make his debut Thursday night in Philadelphia against Jacksonville. And tonight the tenacious Baltimore Ravens are seeking revenge against their arch-nemesis, the Pittsburgh Steelers after an epic AFC championship game even though they're playing Washington.

Yay! Yippee! It’s the 25th blog of The Z Zone. Whew! It’s been a long 63 days from that sunny early summer day to this stormy late summer day. I remember when I made The Z Column. In fact, I even remember the first day of this summer when my dad told me I should write a blog. I also remember when my grandma gave me a book about blogs and ezines right after I showed her The Mosquito Massacre. I remember taking like an hour to write Zac Attack. I remember my first comment. Yup. I remember all of that. This is my first anniversary of The Z Zone's debut, and plenty to come. Isn't it cool how I keep on saying debut. It's cool, it's French, it's catchy. Debut. This summer has felt like a lifetime. Too bad it has to pass soon. Oh well. Can somebody please comment on they’re favorite car. It’s been three blogs and still no comments. Take your time though. Thank you.

H.T.T.Z.Z.P (Hail To The Z Zone Please)

Internet Addiction

Guess what just what just happened. There are approximately 300 camps in China to “help” and wean some kids that are addicted to the Internet. Weeks ago, an adolescent was beaten and hospitalized. In another camp weeks later, a child was slaughtered in another camp. I went to one camp that had serious white water rafting, caving with deep and big potholes, a ropes course, kayaking and rock climbing. Nobody had been killed. You know that China is colossally failing more than ever. More than Jimmy Carter and George Bush’s presidency. More than Dick Cheney when he shot that hunter. First of all they have more censorship than Pakistan. They also have camps to wean children away from Internet obsession. And the most famous person in China just failed on this Youtube video. But aside from those three things China’s not that bad.

Sorry to get your hopes up about The Cleveland Show. It turns out it premiers September 27 on TBS.
Cleveland changes in The Cleveland show. He even has a new family.

Hey check out these popular videos on Youtube. One is about Snoop Dogg on who wants to be a millionaire? The other one is Mass. congressman Barney Frank dissing some republican Obama haters. Another one is a hilarious bowling video on America’s funniest home videos. They’re funny.

D.E.F

Sports Cars and Pop Stars

Sup y’all. I know you thought I wasn’t going to blog anymore until Sunday. But I just forgot something. Today is the 2-month anniversary of Michael Jackson. And his burial date was moved to September 3rd. It’s also Farrah Fawcett’s but nobody really cares about her anymore. If anyone could get a cardiac arrest, it had to be Michael. Sad. Too bad it wasn’t Patricia Heaton. She EPICALLY FAILS AT MATH. I was watching this Youtube video of her on who wants to be a millionaire with Regis Philbin and she flunked big time. I was like “Somebody slap this woman”. I feel super duper bad for her kids. All that matriarchal tyranny.” Hey I sound exactly like Stewie from Family Guy. Can you believe that Cleveland’s new show is premiering tomorrow on TBS? I’m so thrilled. So anyway, pledge your allegiance to the King of pop. He’s my idol, and also almost every single person I know. GBMJ

Hey do know why I put a Lamborghini Murcielago on the top of The Critical Hour? Because it’s a hot car. And so are almost all Lambos. With hours of watching car shows like Pimp my Ride and Top Gear, reading car books and listening to William talk about Cars 101 and Cars 411 I am compelled to make cars polls. But there will be only one poll for this entry. This one will be a sports cars poll. I would appreciate it if everybody could post a comment on what sports car and/or luxury car you like the most (Dodge Vipers are included). Whether it’s an aerodynamic Lamborghini Gallardo, a slim Aston-Martin Vantage, or just an attractive Maserati GT. And for your information my favorite car is a Murcielago. And if you want to watch Pimp my ride, it's been canceled but you might be able to see a repeat of it on MTV or On Demand. Top Gear used to be canceled but now they're on BBC and On Demand. And the car you will see on the below the title is a Ferrari Spyder (Don't think of buying the cars I'm talking about).

Hey guys, guess what? There was a miscommunication between my dad and I and I’m actually going to New Jersey on Labor Day weekend. So I’ll still be here in Maryland next week.

C ya

The Critical Hour

“Hey it’s Zac, with my man William and you’re reading to Suburb Enthusiasm, the new hit blog show about worldwide stuff. William is a master at cars 101, science 101 and martial arts. Now here’s William’s take on Wall Street”: “While the idiots at wall street are fretting about the rising costs of waffles, the smarter idiots at wall street are wolfing down donuts at Krispy Kreme at 50 XXL donuts per hour. And what’s up with Eminem? He took the name of a tiny piece of chocolate”! Isn’t that the honest-to-god-truth, right? I think that the Reeses Puffs rappers copied Eminem?” “True that.” “In one of my latest entries, I totally hated on Sony. I had nothing to write about. Sorry Sony. The PS1, PS2, PS3 and PSP’s are awesome. The PS3 is only so expensive because it can play Blu-ray discs, it’s a DVD player, a computer, and it’s a video game console. I didn’t know all that stuff, and my Xbox 360 couldn’t do anything what I just said, and it only cost $250. Sorry guys. Okay. Looks like we’re out of time. Keep watching The Z Zone’s new hit sitcom, Suburb Enthusiasm. See you guys.

“Ah nothing beats a summer hobby like a dip in the pool. But I hate the chlorine. It burns your eyes. What the? How’d this paragraph get here? Oh well. You know what they should have? Pools with just hose water. I do believe my notions would work miracles as an entrepreneur. But you’ve got to keep it TOP SECRET. “ What’s that conscience? You think putting it on the Internet isn’t TOP SECRET. Well guess what, if anybody tries to steal my idea, I have my own attorney. Or at least I think I do. Whatever! Different subject!

Here’s some information that will probably bore you to tears but I just decided to write about it. In December 2006 a man named Michael Ratley saved his wife and baby. One month later, he murdered his wife. Why is it that every single story is about confused bi-polar man? It gets immensely dull after a while. I’m going to go to another site. Maybe LA Times.com. I’ve been going the way a lot lately.

You might wonder why this is called The Critical Hour. Every Suburb Enthusiasm has an hour. It might be the happy hour, the Brazil hour or the Kevin Rudolph hour. It depends on the subject.
Change of subject.

I know I’ve had like a blog marathon since Monday. Well this is the last of the blog marathon. I’m going up to New Jersey to my cousin’s. Then I’m going to NYC to see some tennis at the U.S Open (did I mention they are front row). See y’all.

$33 U L@+3r

Fantasy Football for Dummies

As the NFL season starts, I am going to make my if-I-were-the owner-of-the-rights-to-the-number-one-drat-picks fantasy football picks. Then my rankings, playoff-picks, MVP picks and more in another blog entry. So for now, listen to my picks.

Quarterback: Drew Brees
Halfback: Adrian Peterson
Wide receiver: Larry Fitzgerald
Wide receiver: Steve Smith
Tight End: Antonio Gates
Fullback: Ahmard Hall
Kicker: Robbie Gould
Defense: Giants

Ok, look. There's this new show on Nick at Nite. It's called Glenn Martin DDS. Watch it. It's hysterical. But Glenn Martin DDS isn't the totally newest cinema in Nickelodean. First Family Matters came. Months later the Penguins of Madagascar arrived. After that Malcolm in the Middle came. Soon Everybody hates Chris is coming. Did I mention George Lopez is getting his own show on TBS in months(gasp). It's pandemonium! If you want to know when to watch Glenn Martin DDS, its usually after of an episode of The Penguins of Madagascar, at around 9 pm.

The Nationals upcoming year is just getting better! When former manager Manny Acta got fired in the middle of the season, internim manager John Riggleman replaced him. Then the Nats went on with their season, another long and demoralizing one. Wow. It feels like the season has ended. But now Washington acquired Stephen Strasburg, and now they have a new general manger. His name is Mike Rizzo. The Nationals are improving, but still rebuilding after the loss of Alfonso Soriano, and that acquisation is a big building block.

W.A.R.S.L

Sony With a Chance of Debt

Some Japanese video gaming corporations are so intolerable. I thought I had enough of them when I mad a “Know Your Enemy” remix into “The enemy is SEGA” but apparently yesterday I wrote some criticism about Sony. Apparently Sony developed a more portable and thinner PS3 by making a 120 GB PS3. If you haven’t noticed, their last price was $400. Do they think that every home has an ATM? If Nintendo and Xbox turn bad, that’s the apocalypse. The PS3 isn’t even as good as a Nintendo 64. I’ve got a new plan: let’s boycott Sony. If you want a television, get Panasonic or Blu-Ray. Want to buy a console: by Nintendo or Xbox. Don’t buy Sony. 1:Their video games have bad graphics.2: I don’t like how the made their name. Really, Sony? I bet they were having sushi and sashimi thought of soy sauce, cut off sauce; picked a random letter, decide the last number of their home country, and place n in the middle. Right there. 3: I’m tired of my Sony big screen television (not really). Anyway, if you support shunning Sony, I promise that you will not be tricked by some of Sony’s con artists.

Back to epic failures, here are just random ones. One 89-year old man just fell in his farm, wasn’t found for two days. He was about to get killed by a pack of cougars, and then a dog saved him. If I were that guy I would want to die. How embarrassing. Saved by a dog. That geezer’s got a lot of guts. One other one is a guy set his own geese out in these town fairs in Iowa and walks with them for exercise. I play tennis, soccer, football and other sports for exercise. But apparently he thinks walking with a gaggle of geese is exercise. Buying a Whopper value meal is more exercise.

You know how when you watch 60 minutes you sometimes wonder who created 60 minutes? Well his name was Don Hewitt, winner of eight Emmys and two Peabodys, and longtime CBS executive. A successful man, Hewitt was also a television pioneer. Sadly, he passed away today. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop watching 60 minutes. In fact, I’ll go find the latest TV Guide and see when’s the next 60 minutes is. 5 minutes later: Can’t find the TV Guide. To be honest, I’ve only seen one 60 minutes. But I planned to see it and it was the one where Lebron James made that one-handed, underhanded, full-court toss. That was magic. RIP ( I’m saying too many RIPS these days).

D.B.S (Don’t buy Sony)

Whole Fool

Gourmet food is overrated. I love gourmet food, but apparently I don’t love their head. Particularly Whole Foods. Formerly known as Fresh Fields, Whole Foods looks like they have a pathetic corporate executive. John Mackey (the inefficient president) first got caught on embarrassing message board brouhaha. Now he decides to oppose to Obama’s health care plan. Barack Hussein Obama’s! O.B.A.M.A.S (Our Boss, And Master And Sovereign). But apparently M.A.C.K.E.Y.S plan is suddenly better (Mediocre Annoying Conceited Krazy Embarrassing Yellow dog) In fact; Whole Foods doesn’t even have a pharmacy like Giant, Safeway or Harris Teeter. Well Obama’s health care plan will be a law someday. That’s the way it is and that’s the way it should be. Tough luck, Mackey.

As of today, Sony has officially trimmed the price of a PS3 down by $100, now at $299. Way to go Sony. You’ve been officially named the biggest cheapskates ever.

$33 u l@+3r

College Football 101

College football is underrated. That’s why this entry is going to be all about college pigskin. For this one it’s about who’s going to the major bowls, and my rankings, and Heisman picks, and one thing you’d never expect.
Top Ten Teams
1. Florida Gators
2. Texas Longhorns
3. Oklahoma Sooners
4. USC Trojans
5. LSU Tigers
6. Alabama Crimson Tide
7. Penn State Nittany Lions
8. Ohio State Buckeyes
9. Georgia Bulldogs
10. Ole Miss Rebels

Heisman Candidates

1. Tim Tebow (Florida)
2. Colt McCoy (Texas)
3. Jahvid Best (Cal)

Major Bowls
BCS: Florida over Texas
Rose: Oklahoma over USC
Orange: LSU over Alabama
Sugar: Penn State over Ohio State
Fiesta: Ole Miss over Georgia

#1 College Fantasy Football
QB: Tim Tebow FB: Kenny Jefferson
RB: Jahvid Best K: Kai Forbath
WR: Dez Bryant Defense: Florida
WR: Arrelious Benn
TE: Jermaine Gresham
G.A.T.W (Gators all the way)

Here's Brett, Don't Fret

Brett is back. A source says that Brett Favre will sign a $10-12 million deal with the Minnesota Vikings, says senior ESPN football analyst Chris Mortensen. Another source reports that he is supposed to start in Friday night’s preseason opener, against the Kansas City Chiefs. The Vikings finished training camp strong and won their preseason opener 13-3 against Peyton Manning and his Indianapolis Colts, with a hard performance from quarterback Sage Rosenfels, who has been competing with quarterback Tavaris Jackson, since Favre ditched Minnesota on July 28. Adrian Peterson and Brett Favre will be extremely dominant and will have splendid chemistry this season, even though Brett is 39 and Peterson finished college 2 years ago. Beware NFL teams. The Vikings are back.

In Philly, another talented yet notorious quarterback that just got out of jail. Michael Vick got signed in Philly. Donovan McNabb still is will probably get the starting job. And then Brian Westbrook will take them far in the playoffs, like he always does.

Breaking news! Former CNN “Crossfire” host and conservative columnist Robert Novak passed away minutes ago. I’ll admit it: I had never heard of this person before but I do now, and it feels like I’ve known him for a billion years. One by one, celebrities have died this year. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite, John Hughes and now Robert Novak. In my perspective, Ted Kennedy will sadly be the next one. Now that CNN has lost Cronkite and Novak, it looks like CNN will be more tedious then TV Land. But, after a long struggle with cancer, Mr. Novak, as most people do now, lost the battle. RIP
$33 u l@+3r

Pride Wins

Hey guys. You probably were wondering why I didn’t write the final piece on Stephen Strasburg being drafted by the Nationals for a 4 year deal and 15.5 million (boo-yah!). Wow. I did all those pointless updates but I didn’t do the one that was actually the most important. Well here’s the story: You know how in the end of my latest entry I said I’m going to spend the next 10 minutes staring at the MLB section in ESPN. I actually spent 25 minutes, nervously pacing around while maintaining an eye on the clock. Well at 12:15 am my parents were like “You have to go to bed now” and I was like “But mom, I just found out that Stephen Strasburg was drafted by the Nationals” and my mom was like “Oh that’s great. Now go to sleep.” And I was like “But” and my mom was like “Sleep. Now.” And I was like “All right.” But anyway aside from that, STEPHEN STRASBURG IS ON THE NATS! Next year will be fantastic. New manager. New pitcher. And thinking ahead, they have an immense probability of getting a more superior prospect: Bryce Harper. He can bat. And the trio of Ryan Zimmerman, Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper would be dominant and even Playoffs caliber. Just a reminder, the Nationals will be back next year.

Hey, guess what? Bob Dylan got stopped by the police in a small town in New Jersey. Now I want you to read this but I also want you to count how many failures he had. Well getting stopped in a small town in a small state is a failure. Um let’s see. The cops at first didn’t believe he was Bob Dylan. Fail. The authorities asked him why he was taking a walk in the rain. Fail (Who takes a walk in the rain, especially in a leather suit, jeans and a sombrero.) Oh and who has the name Bob. Fail. Oh wait my neighbor’s name is Bob. Sorry Bob. I just think Bob doesn’t go well with Dylan. Oh and here’s a tip, Dylan. Before you sing, clear your throat. Real good. Your voice is raspier than Randy Newman. Fail. Five failures and one apology.

BRB

Money versus Pride, Part Three: Still nothing

Back on the web. So, 20 more minutes until the deadline. So, how about that Gerald Celente. He’s a gleeful guy. The way he changes your opinion to the more positive side of the subject. Great guy. I’m going to check ESPN.com for anything. Still nothing. Ooh now it’s 13 minutes. It’s getting closer. Still nothing. So, what about Woodstock? You, know what. I can’t take this any longer. I’m spending the next ten minutes staring at ESPN.com. I’ll alert you when I see anything.
BRB

Money versus Pride, Part two:Nothing yet

All right, I’ve got my sporty pajamas, a thermos with milk, and graham crackers. It’s time for some updates. Nothing yet. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Ooh, here we go. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Ah ha. Well, Mark Zuckerman just said that Boras usually waits on these things. Wow, that helps. I’ll check some other sites. Nope. Nill. Zero info. Ooh, it’s supposed to be partly cloudy all day in Rockville. But watch out. An isolated storm is coming at 9 pm. Oops, off-topic. Let me surf more. Nothing. Zilch. Zip. Wow, Scott. You are one evil person. You know what I’m logging off. I’ll be back soon. From then on you can just watch these Youtube videos of the economic collapse. See ya.

S.B.I.R.A (Scott Boras is really aggravating)

Money versus Pride, Part One

Written by Zac Lowy

In the city of San Diego, a prodigy with mad pitching skills is born. Years later he learns about his natural dexterous talent. He plays on teams and excels all the way up until he’s 21 and now wants to play major league baseball. Miles east, a mediocre yet young franchise has picked him and is yet to be signed. The star has the best agent in the MLB, and his agent (Scott Boras) wants 20 million per year and the team (the Washington Nationals) is pitiful when it comes to ticket sales. The supernatural (Stephen Strasburg) might have to go to either a lesser league or Japan. The answer to this face-off is at midnight; so if you’re game for it for my countdown and the answer to this showdown, then stay up. If you’re not you can just slumber until the morning and check out the report, when the news will be prehistoric or find out about it when it actually happens. Your decision. But I will be almost nocturnal for this issue and focused, for your information.
S.T (Stay tuned)

Y.E-MAN

In a world of freezing underground sea caves, all-you-can-eat-buffets, horseback riding, botanical gardens, volcanoes and more, Hawaii is the most diverse place in the universe. I can’t think of a place where you can go skiing and drive a practical distance to the beach. But now that I’m back in Rockville I shall scribe about reality. But those are all common and boring things. Do you want to hear about cliché stories and bosh like an elderly man heckling Arlen Specter at a news conference, Eminem and Mariah Carey’s brawlin’ n bawlin’ or the latest on Michael Vick, or do you want to hear about golf. That’s what I thought. O.K, here’s one thing that’s not reality: Tiger Woods blowing a lead in the final round of a tournament. That’s a first. Especially to a guy who’s name is Y.E Yang. Awkward. Ego-decreasing. Pretty much the reverse of a Cinderella story. I might also remind you that this media-rite means that Tiger still hasn’t won a major since the 2008 U.S Open which questions a second “rehab”. But the main thing is to finish games. It’s always either he blows a comeback or doesn’t come close. We want the old Tiger back. So with just a lot of practice, some time off from tournaments, I predict Tiger will be back on the prowl in time for the Masters.

The low budget movie District 9 received an estimated $37 million in ticket sales and is on top of the box office. District 9 is one of those aliens versus humans movies and is supposed to be mildly scary. The amazing part is 29-year old Johannesburg native Neil Blomkamp used only $30 million to direct the motion picture. G.I Joe: The rise of the cobra is a Neil Blomkamp film too.

The NFL pre-season has started, and soon the regular season will start, and soon fantasy football will start, and soon Madden gaming will start!!! The new Madden game is on Xbox, Wii and Playstation and will be out this Friday!!! But beware fellow gamers: the Madden curse is real.

E.T.R.O.T.S.W.Y.S.C. (Enjoy the rest of the summer while you still can)