Mail on Sunday

Perfection is a luxury that you have to earn. Things such as the 2007-08 NFL season for the New England Patriots or just a simple A+ in an algebra quiz are feats that would be dubbed as flawlessness. And that’s what happened Thursday evening to Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrlhe. But rare stuff like that usually is just a hodgepodge of emotions: more boredom and disappointment than a Nasdaq business meeting for the opposing team, more glee than the show Glee premiering on FOX in September for the VIP, and more awe for the fans than the Macy’s day parade. But it wasn’t over until the last out. For a while it was picture perfect, but then Chicago started to get lazy. A player on the Tampa Bay Rays, the former AL champs, hit a ball into the stands into centerfield but centerfielder Dewayne Wise sprung to retrieve it. Wise bobbled it on his journey down but in the end he held on. And that was obviously SportCenter’s number one play of the week. And thanks to Wise, Mark Buehrle was invited halfway across the country to the Big Apple to read the top 10 list on Monday night’s show with Mr. David Letterman. Oops. Reporting news. It seems that the White Sox have been humiliated 5-1 by the Detroit Tigers, which places them three games below first place in the AL central division, which apparently is held by Detroit.

Well in a mere 81 hours I will be flying on a US air airline all the way to a cluster of isolated atolls that are extremely relevant to Spongebob Squarepants, water beds, ukuleles and nirvana. H.A.W.A.I.I. Goodbye, pleasant and suburban Montgomery County. Aloha beachy, lush and tropical south Pacific. This will be ten times better than Six Flags, Kings Dominion and Water County USA combined. Because this is Hawaii. The only state that you can’t believe is part of America. Hawaii is the only location, that when you taste their food for the first time you feel as if the airplane food is leftovers from a soup kitchen. Oh wait, you always feel that way after a plane trip (sorry airlines, but really get ahold of yourself and make something that isn’t just made with artificial substitutes, acids and a solar powered microwave. Make something that people won’t pray and dream for flight cancellations so they can receive food vouchers. Sincerely, a harsh critic of yours.) I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Adios pleasant home, Aloha paradise.
C U L8r