Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Z Column

Hey, que pasa? You're probably wondering why I'm writing a column. Guess what? My dad made me write this.
A lot of bad things have been going on aside from my unreasonable punishment. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad won a rigged election.
Adam Lambert lost to Kris Allen in "American Idol" just because he's gay.
The economy is so downright pitiful that it's not even an economy anymore. It's a bunch of unpaid mortgages and bills.
And Obama has epically failed to replenish the economy and is now trying to make the school day and year longer.
But this punishment that my dad is making me do is stupider than when Hitler made Volkswagens.
So I was going to start up a petition against this adolescent form of quarantine. But then I realized three things:
1) There aren't as much people in my community to start a real petition.
2) Most people in my area are on vacation.
3) I'm too lazy to do that kind of labor.
So anyway, I think Phil Jackson will retire some day in the middle of July, and the Laker Dream will die.
And too bad that the new Honda Accord is worse than a used Silverado.
The same thing is happening with the new Ford Mustang.
Well anyway, gotta roll.
PEACE!

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