Destiny?

It’s hard to believe this is it. The last writing of mine that includes any sort of football for another 6 ½ months. Drew Brees called is destiny. Destiny? Was it also destiny that Bobby McCray broke every bone in Brett Favre and Kurt Warner’s body? Was it destiny that Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis didn’t get any holding calls? Or maybe that the Saints D put so much cheap shots on Joseph Addai and Peyton Manning. Sure Pierre Garcon and Reggie Wayne were mostly butterfingers. Sure Sean Payton outcoached Jim Caldwell. But destiny? Here is my draft picks: 1.Ndakmong Suh 2.Eric Berry 3.Gerald McCoy 4. C.J Spiller 5. Sam Bradford 6. Anthony Davis. 7. Dez Bryant. 8. Joe Haden 9. Jason Pierre-Paul. 10. Russell Okung 11. Bryan Bulaga 12. Derrick Morgan 13. Brandon Graham 14. Taylor Mays. 15. Rolando McClain 16. Sergio Kindle. 17. Trent Williams. 18. Earl Thomas. 19. Carlos Dunlap. 20. Mike Iupati. 21. Kareem Jackson. 22. Brian Price. 23. Bruce Campbell. 24. Jahvid Best. 25. Dexter McCluster. 26. Jermaine Gresham. 27. Brandon Spikes 28. Kyle Wilson. 29. Dan Williams 30. Navarro Bowman. 31. Maurkice Pouncey. 32. Jared Odrick.

Down 4-1 in the Verizon Center late in the Penguins-Capitals, there was a blizzard outside. But the fans rocked the red, and Alex Ovechkin’s hat trick had the Caps storming back, tieing it up to go into overtime. Mike Knuble tipped in an Ovechkin shot, and Ovechkin beat Crosby in a who’s-the-best battle. The hottest team(14 straight wins) and best(41-12-6). Also Saturday, the No. 8. Georgetown Hoyas beat the 2. Villanova Wildcats, for their first loss since December to 17. Temple(who lost to unranked Richmond) for their worst loss in nearly a decade and most points allowed since 2004. The Wizards game was postponed. The UConn women team is abnormally trouncing every possible team, and has a 62-game winning streak. This rivalry week in college basketball. Stay tuned.

R.T.R(Rock the Red)

Point Forward

I figured “what the heck!” I might as well top them while I’m at it. Dwight Freeney is going to play in the big chalupa. Today we’ll find out if Peyton’s about pitching or sales pitching. We’ll find out if newly inducted to Cantons Jerry Rice and Emmit Smith have something to say about Greg Williams’ homicidal defense. And for my new college basketball players to watch, check out Devan Downey, who beat John Wall’s recently undefeated Wildcats and Dexter McCaney, who’s Illini topped 5. Sparty. Go Colts!

Enough from sports, time for media-rites. Al Franken nailed Comcast in court recently, and Tim Tebow’s mom and him are having a Catholic commercial today. A 16-year old Turkish girl was buried alive for talking to boys (Now I know how Amy Winehouse feels, that was gold and you know it). Someone made 20 anticancer rules. Mike Mitchell is Seth McFarlane’s apprentice. There’s a new Facebook layout. Sandra Bullock says she’s totally not winning Oscar (no duh). Henry Paulson says John McCain gave me anxious hours and nights. I know it’s 7 years old but I think the Dixie Chicks movie is self-racist. Jessica Alba is upset about a Chinese woman getting surgery to look like her (she’ll get over it). Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge split up. Keira Knightley is called a S*** actress and reacts to it (finally). Dear John ends Avatar’s 7-week streak at the top of the box office thanks to Channing Tatum’s rocky abs. Rob Lowe is a Colts fan (aw man). Jenifer Aniston is in Mexico. The Crazies and Robin Hood premier soon. Shawne Merriman and Warren Sapp get released from prison. Chad Ochocinco has fun in Miami. Derrick Rose dunks big-time in Atlanta. Tiger Woods gets reunited with his children. And in the most retarded, bull, communist, racist, sexist, impossible case ever, on Friday when students were encouraged to wear black and gold or Saint jerseys, a Louisiana high school student named Brandon Frost got sent home for wearing a Colts Joseph Addai jersey. I swear, they have some mental Confederates down there in Big Easy. For more info go to Huffington Post.com. The Colts are going to run this town tonight.

GO COLTS

What Fails you

To tie up the 3 greatest institutions in the beautiful landmass (Super Bowls, Presidents, Z Zones), I will have to write another blog. This is the 44th for everything. Peyton the Prodigy vs. Drew the Devil (don’t get me wrong, I like Drew Brees). Check out these patriotic blogs, Failblog and the America Bowl (epicalyspe fails and super bowl vs. presidents). Tonight, Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma and Colts wide receiver Pierre Garcon will be representing their homeland, Haiti. Pretty much a Faily daily for CBS as the deny a homosexual ad for the Super Bowl (ROFL) and as always, Sarah Palin as she defends Rush Limbaugh’s usage of ‘retard’ on Fox News Sunday. Also an Oprah audience member went into labor (what’s that about abortion, Obama) and NBC removed every episode of Conan O’Brien’s “Tonight Show” (yeah baby!). Candy Crowley ponders if her weight loss helped her get CNN’s State of the Union this year. Anne Hathaway and obviously Pink put on an undesirable show. And the “Jersey Shore” cast star on The View. If you ask me Whoopi Goldberg and Elizabeth Hassleback will probably get into a verbal catfight over the stimulus package by then but the 26 viewers who watch will see.

In the Wolfman, Bernico del Toro takes psychedelic drugs-I think. Leonardo DiCaprio stars in Shutter Island. Steve Carell and Tina Fey go for identity theft in Date Night. In Cop Out, Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan go back to the 70’s in a cinema similar to a non-disturbing Austin Powers movie. And last but not least Adam Sandler recruits Salma Hayek, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock and David Spade for his new movie, Grown Ups.

Dwight Freeney is likely to play, ready to put the kibosh on the Saints offense. To top it off, the Colts will win in a Brees.

D.E.F

Ain't no Saints

Before you settle down in your sofa and sit down and watch today’s big chalupa on you platinum hi-def TV, I have two things to say: 1. Don’t call the Super Bowl the big chalupa, because only I can say that. Try the giant fajita or the monster chimmi changa. And 2. Don’t root for the Saints because: 1. The NFL publicly stated the last play of regulation should’ve been a late hit on Brett Favre. 2. That would’ve set them up at the 15-yard line and then have the best kicker in the league, Ryan Longwell to drill a chipshot. 3. Because of the Saints perilous defensive play two of the best quarterbacks in the NFL ever are either retired or going to retire.4. No idea why they call them the Saints. They must be like Jesus’ evil twins or something like that. 5. The Saints should switch names with the Raiders or Buccaneers. 6. The only reason the Saints Devils have on a game so far is thanks to a variety of Mike Tyson-like blindside hits. 7. Bobby McCray is mental. 8. With all due respect to Drew Brees, the Colts will trounce the Saints and actually should’ve been undefeated. 9. Greg Williams publicly and immaturely stated that we’re going to have some “remember me hits” on Peyton. 10. That dude’s fatter than Britney Spears. 11. If they have one more Chevrolet commercial I will go insane.

My house has more snow than Alaska. It is packed.

Did you see the Grammys on Monday. Kings of Leon got some love, while their underdog Use Somebody beat out rotweilers like the Black-Eyed Peas' I gotta Feeling, Taylor Swift's You belong with me, Beyonce's Halo, and Lady Gaga's Poker Face for record of the year. Kesha, Justin Bieber, and Rihanna all got dissed, while Tik Tok, One Time and no songs for Rated R. Run this town, supprisingly didn't go anywhere, and Kanye West and Chris Brown could only watch. How about Katy Perry? She kissed a girl and she liked it. I'll go off on that home run.
W.A.R.S.L

BRB

One for the Aging

No matter what goes down in New Orleans today, Brett Favre has given a message stating no matter what you are you can still fulfill you dreams. Now let me break down how the Vikings can beat La Breesiana’s Saints. Even though it seems like someone put Red Bull in the holy water, the Saints are dependent on Darren Sharper, Will Smith and Jonathan Vilma. So Minnesota has to be sure to bust out Adrian Peterson, Sidney Rice, Percy Harvin and Visanthe Shiancioe. If not, bring in Bernard Berrian and Chester Taylor. New Orleans can bring in their running game anytime (Pierre Thomas, Reggie Bush, Mike Bell & Deuce McAllister) but sometime Ben Leber, Kevin Williams, Pat Williams, Jared Allen and Ray Edwards will sniff it out. Then Drew Brees will have to hit Jeremy Shockey, Marques Colston, Devery Henderson or a halfback. Chad Greenway and Cedric Griffin can’t cover that. Overall, I’m rooting and I’m going with the Vikings.

Heading north to South Bend, a hyped, young New York Jets team faces a veteran, Indianapolis Colts team. With rookie coach Rex Ryan and rookie QB Mark Sanchez on a hot streak and rookie coach Jim Caldwell and best QB in the nation Peyton Manning, it ought to be a grind-it-out. The stingy Jets D (Dwight Lowery, Lito Shepperd, Darrelle Revis, Kerry Rhodes, Jim Leonhard, Bart Scott, Calvin Pace) faces an unstoppable Colts O (Joseph Addai,s, Pierre Garcon, Dominic Rhodes, Dallas Clark, Reggie Wayne, Austin Collie, Anthony Gonzalez, Jeff Saturday). The Colts defense is also tenacious (Antoine Bethea, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis, Gary Brackett, Bob Sanders) and the Jets offense is prominent (Alan Faneca, Damien Woody, D’Brickshaw Ferguson, Shonn Greene, Leon Washington, Thomas Jones, Braylon Edwards, Dustin Keller, Jericho Cotchery). Did I mention that a demented coaching blunder by Caldwell is the only reason the Jets are recieving more attention than Paris Hilton? Although the ammunition in the Jets team is balanced and high, the Colts have more weapons in their arsenal. Sorry, Rex, but your chariot turns into a pumpkin now. Peyton vs. Brett in Miami.

Vikes!

Shooting Saints

It hurts. It’s the pain of Kurt Warner’s career being ended by terrorizing and molesting New Orleans Saints. Final picks: Indy over Baltimore, Dallas over Minnesota, New York Jets over San Diego, Indy over NYJ, Dallas over New Orleans, Indy over Dallas. So, awkwardness comes to its revolution in my life as I hit Summit Lake. For Outdoor Ed. With my classmates. Anyway, Reggie Bush, Marques Colston, Drew Brees, monster performance, bla, bla, bla. This blog series needs a tight name. I’ll give it Shooting Stars. Now that Tony Dungy lost all his market addiction for saying he’d like to coach the New York Giants, an 8-8, no-man’s land team that had been diagnosed with a virus of “too much, too early”. All I’m saying is Dungy now has less swagga than a Haitian Conan O’Brien fan (no offense intended toward the Haiti community, all offense intended toward Conan O’ Brien). I was going to nail Matthew Mcconaughey but I see that Katherine Heigl hired Adult Swim cartoons for that.

LOL

Part I

Before I begin this blog, I want you to know that this is long, extremely long. Which is why it has many parts. You may begin.

One week ago, I experienced the cinema of a lifetime, Avatar: 3-D. You know, all James Cameron does is give. He gives hope and inspiration. And if I don’t find out a way to thank him by the end of this blog, then I might as well…well I didn’t really plan the end of this one. Ooh, I know! I might as well go to the revival of Brokeback Mountain and then I’m like on a horse and then one of the horses is like “Hey, you knows since Heath Ledger’s dead, I’m going to just jump off this cliff, you know just for the hell of it” and then the other horse is like “Ha ha ha” and the other horse is like “Oh you wanna see?” and the other horse is like “Oh my Barbaro he’s gonna do it. Take me with you” and then they miraculously start swimming head over water and then “Ain’t’ no mountain high enough” spontaneously starts playing on the stereo and then they tragically yet hilariously drown. And then a nearby owl says “Whoa, somebody’s a little Ashley Tisdale” and then the other owl is like “That doesn’t even make sense” and the other owl is like “Yeah, I don’t really give a hoot” and then the other owls like “Well, somebody’s a little Liza Minnelli” and then the other owl’s like “I thought she got Parkinson’s” and the other owl’s like “No, her career is being torn up by Family Guy and South Park taunts” and the other owl’s like “Well, it’s just Denise. We broke up last night” and the other owl’s like I thought you were about to go to Hooters,” and the other owl’s like “Look Kevin, she can’t dump you on Hooters. It’s unorthodox,” and Kevin’s like “Not if it’s on the check” and the other owl’s like “Kevin, you disappoint me. You know that 34% of relationships end on the bill” and the other owl’s like “Oh Damien, you and your Essence magazines” and Damien’s like “You know Kevin, why don’t you just go hoot yourself. Okay. Why don’t you just get AIDS and burn in hoot” and Kevin’s like “1. You get HOOT before you get AIDS and 2. Maybe I will burn in hoot, cuz it’s better than hooting around with you” and Damien’s like “Hoot, hoot, hoot” and Kevin’s like “Shut the hoot up” and then they continuously keep on nailing each other until Open Season where both of them are shot by Dick Cheney. Moving on!