College Football 101

College football is underrated. That’s why this entry is going to be all about college pigskin. For this one it’s about who’s going to the major bowls, and my rankings, and Heisman picks, and one thing you’d never expect.
Top Ten Teams
1. Florida Gators
2. Texas Longhorns
3. Oklahoma Sooners
4. USC Trojans
5. LSU Tigers
6. Alabama Crimson Tide
7. Penn State Nittany Lions
8. Ohio State Buckeyes
9. Georgia Bulldogs
10. Ole Miss Rebels

Heisman Candidates

1. Tim Tebow (Florida)
2. Colt McCoy (Texas)
3. Jahvid Best (Cal)

Major Bowls
BCS: Florida over Texas
Rose: Oklahoma over USC
Orange: LSU over Alabama
Sugar: Penn State over Ohio State
Fiesta: Ole Miss over Georgia

#1 College Fantasy Football
QB: Tim Tebow FB: Kenny Jefferson
RB: Jahvid Best K: Kai Forbath
WR: Dez Bryant Defense: Florida
WR: Arrelious Benn
TE: Jermaine Gresham
G.A.T.W (Gators all the way)

Here's Brett, Don't Fret

Brett is back. A source says that Brett Favre will sign a $10-12 million deal with the Minnesota Vikings, says senior ESPN football analyst Chris Mortensen. Another source reports that he is supposed to start in Friday night’s preseason opener, against the Kansas City Chiefs. The Vikings finished training camp strong and won their preseason opener 13-3 against Peyton Manning and his Indianapolis Colts, with a hard performance from quarterback Sage Rosenfels, who has been competing with quarterback Tavaris Jackson, since Favre ditched Minnesota on July 28. Adrian Peterson and Brett Favre will be extremely dominant and will have splendid chemistry this season, even though Brett is 39 and Peterson finished college 2 years ago. Beware NFL teams. The Vikings are back.

In Philly, another talented yet notorious quarterback that just got out of jail. Michael Vick got signed in Philly. Donovan McNabb still is will probably get the starting job. And then Brian Westbrook will take them far in the playoffs, like he always does.

Breaking news! Former CNN “Crossfire” host and conservative columnist Robert Novak passed away minutes ago. I’ll admit it: I had never heard of this person before but I do now, and it feels like I’ve known him for a billion years. One by one, celebrities have died this year. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite, John Hughes and now Robert Novak. In my perspective, Ted Kennedy will sadly be the next one. Now that CNN has lost Cronkite and Novak, it looks like CNN will be more tedious then TV Land. But, after a long struggle with cancer, Mr. Novak, as most people do now, lost the battle. RIP
$33 u l@+3r

Pride Wins

Hey guys. You probably were wondering why I didn’t write the final piece on Stephen Strasburg being drafted by the Nationals for a 4 year deal and 15.5 million (boo-yah!). Wow. I did all those pointless updates but I didn’t do the one that was actually the most important. Well here’s the story: You know how in the end of my latest entry I said I’m going to spend the next 10 minutes staring at the MLB section in ESPN. I actually spent 25 minutes, nervously pacing around while maintaining an eye on the clock. Well at 12:15 am my parents were like “You have to go to bed now” and I was like “But mom, I just found out that Stephen Strasburg was drafted by the Nationals” and my mom was like “Oh that’s great. Now go to sleep.” And I was like “But” and my mom was like “Sleep. Now.” And I was like “All right.” But anyway aside from that, STEPHEN STRASBURG IS ON THE NATS! Next year will be fantastic. New manager. New pitcher. And thinking ahead, they have an immense probability of getting a more superior prospect: Bryce Harper. He can bat. And the trio of Ryan Zimmerman, Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper would be dominant and even Playoffs caliber. Just a reminder, the Nationals will be back next year.

Hey, guess what? Bob Dylan got stopped by the police in a small town in New Jersey. Now I want you to read this but I also want you to count how many failures he had. Well getting stopped in a small town in a small state is a failure. Um let’s see. The cops at first didn’t believe he was Bob Dylan. Fail. The authorities asked him why he was taking a walk in the rain. Fail (Who takes a walk in the rain, especially in a leather suit, jeans and a sombrero.) Oh and who has the name Bob. Fail. Oh wait my neighbor’s name is Bob. Sorry Bob. I just think Bob doesn’t go well with Dylan. Oh and here’s a tip, Dylan. Before you sing, clear your throat. Real good. Your voice is raspier than Randy Newman. Fail. Five failures and one apology.

BRB

Money versus Pride, Part Three: Still nothing

Back on the web. So, 20 more minutes until the deadline. So, how about that Gerald Celente. He’s a gleeful guy. The way he changes your opinion to the more positive side of the subject. Great guy. I’m going to check ESPN.com for anything. Still nothing. Ooh now it’s 13 minutes. It’s getting closer. Still nothing. So, what about Woodstock? You, know what. I can’t take this any longer. I’m spending the next ten minutes staring at ESPN.com. I’ll alert you when I see anything.
BRB

Money versus Pride, Part two:Nothing yet

All right, I’ve got my sporty pajamas, a thermos with milk, and graham crackers. It’s time for some updates. Nothing yet. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Ooh, here we go. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Ah ha. Well, Mark Zuckerman just said that Boras usually waits on these things. Wow, that helps. I’ll check some other sites. Nope. Nill. Zero info. Ooh, it’s supposed to be partly cloudy all day in Rockville. But watch out. An isolated storm is coming at 9 pm. Oops, off-topic. Let me surf more. Nothing. Zilch. Zip. Wow, Scott. You are one evil person. You know what I’m logging off. I’ll be back soon. From then on you can just watch these Youtube videos of the economic collapse. See ya.

S.B.I.R.A (Scott Boras is really aggravating)

Money versus Pride, Part One

Written by Zac Lowy

In the city of San Diego, a prodigy with mad pitching skills is born. Years later he learns about his natural dexterous talent. He plays on teams and excels all the way up until he’s 21 and now wants to play major league baseball. Miles east, a mediocre yet young franchise has picked him and is yet to be signed. The star has the best agent in the MLB, and his agent (Scott Boras) wants 20 million per year and the team (the Washington Nationals) is pitiful when it comes to ticket sales. The supernatural (Stephen Strasburg) might have to go to either a lesser league or Japan. The answer to this face-off is at midnight; so if you’re game for it for my countdown and the answer to this showdown, then stay up. If you’re not you can just slumber until the morning and check out the report, when the news will be prehistoric or find out about it when it actually happens. Your decision. But I will be almost nocturnal for this issue and focused, for your information.
S.T (Stay tuned)

Y.E-MAN

In a world of freezing underground sea caves, all-you-can-eat-buffets, horseback riding, botanical gardens, volcanoes and more, Hawaii is the most diverse place in the universe. I can’t think of a place where you can go skiing and drive a practical distance to the beach. But now that I’m back in Rockville I shall scribe about reality. But those are all common and boring things. Do you want to hear about cliché stories and bosh like an elderly man heckling Arlen Specter at a news conference, Eminem and Mariah Carey’s brawlin’ n bawlin’ or the latest on Michael Vick, or do you want to hear about golf. That’s what I thought. O.K, here’s one thing that’s not reality: Tiger Woods blowing a lead in the final round of a tournament. That’s a first. Especially to a guy who’s name is Y.E Yang. Awkward. Ego-decreasing. Pretty much the reverse of a Cinderella story. I might also remind you that this media-rite means that Tiger still hasn’t won a major since the 2008 U.S Open which questions a second “rehab”. But the main thing is to finish games. It’s always either he blows a comeback or doesn’t come close. We want the old Tiger back. So with just a lot of practice, some time off from tournaments, I predict Tiger will be back on the prowl in time for the Masters.

The low budget movie District 9 received an estimated $37 million in ticket sales and is on top of the box office. District 9 is one of those aliens versus humans movies and is supposed to be mildly scary. The amazing part is 29-year old Johannesburg native Neil Blomkamp used only $30 million to direct the motion picture. G.I Joe: The rise of the cobra is a Neil Blomkamp film too.

The NFL pre-season has started, and soon the regular season will start, and soon fantasy football will start, and soon Madden gaming will start!!! The new Madden game is on Xbox, Wii and Playstation and will be out this Friday!!! But beware fellow gamers: the Madden curse is real.

E.T.R.O.T.S.W.Y.S.C. (Enjoy the rest of the summer while you still can)